How Do You Know You Are Bombing?
Think back to the last time you spoke to an audience. How well did you do? How do you know?
I met a media hero this week, a journalist I’ve long followed. Smart, well-spoken, and hilarious, she is a regular on NBC and CNN and has a large social media presence. I was honored to have her in the audience for my talk in New York City.
During a break, she sought advice on staying composed in front of an audience. On camera, she works in a studio with only the anchors. I remember the anxiety of leaving the studio to face crowds from my broadcasting days.
She wanted advice on how to not get rattled by a frowning face in the audience. I asked, “How do you know what that person is thinking?” Her quick answer: “I don’t.”
It is easy to misread the room, and we often assume the worst. Giving that frowning face the most charitable explanation shifts your mind toward empathy. Focusing on others instead of yourself helps you to present with confidence.
Steve Martin tells young comedians, “Don’t look at the audience.” Many people look bored while enjoying the show.
Live radio hosts are often discouraged when they ask for listener calls, and the studio phones don’t ring. In this case, silence is not disapproval. People simply phone in far less than they used to.
People who lead virtual meetings often see cameras off and think they are bombing. Off-camera folks may be anxious about their appearance, managing distractions in their environment, or dealing with Zoom fatigue, and you are doing fine.
How you feel when presenting often has nothing to do with what the audience feels. Two-time Oscar winner Christoph Waltz says theater actors come off stage and think, “I nailed it. Tonight was the perfect performance.” Chances are that the audience was bored. And when actors feel a performance was the worst of their career, people will likely come up to them and say, “That was a great night.”
Explore the connection between your performance and your self-talk. Research indicates that replacing self-criticism with realistic self-acceptance improves confidence.
During our New York session, someone in the audience said, “I am terrible at public speaking.” I gently reframed, “No, you are improving your public speaking. Terrible is a permanent label. The story you repeat is the future you create.”
Consider your mindset in job interviews. Early in his career, actor Michael Keaton went to auditions hoping to win a part. Keaton changed his thinking to, “The audition is the job. I’ve got the job. I’m going to work.” Keaton focused on entertaining casting directors instead of worrying about himself.
One of the best management programs I ever took was The Leadership Trust at Wake Forest University. Dr. Holly Latty-Mann emphasized, “Manage internally before managing others.” Care for yourself as you would a fine instrument. What you allow into your mind, body, and spirit affects what you get out of it.
Unless an audience tells you otherwise through boos, complaints, or objects hurled at the stage, assume you are doing well.
